What do you do when someone farts in wine class?

Well, nothing. I was deadpan. I think it is possibly the most compassionate moment of my life. Cathy, opposite me, was begging me to cave. She was internally DYING with laughter and saw right into me; she knew I was weak, that I would give in and together we would laugh “hahaha YOU FARTED?????? That is UNCOMMON IN PUBLIC@!” But I kept it together. And thank god, as karma is a bitch and I do not want to cross the fart gods in this uncertain time of professional development.

So this eve was Beaujolais; a wine I love but one that has recently dropped in sales and is now deemed ‘unfashionable’. I find this terribly hard to take. Beaujolais Villages, and particularly Georges Dubeauf, is a wine that reminds me of Sunday and my Dad and the first time I realized what wine was AND that I liked it. So there were many people at wine class giving it a hard time and I had to hold my tongue as ACTUALLY thousands of people drink Rose, a substance in my eyes that should be used as floor cleaner and yet here we are, slagging off an 18 pound bottle of hand harvested French wine, simply because the label is too colourful. BITCH PLEASE. And it got worse when we tried a Jacobs Creek Cabernet Sauvignon, nicknamed ‘the alcoholic Ribeena’. Now, I love a good wine and quality is both important and noticeable. But it is a luxury to be able to afford a bottle of wine above six pounds on a student budget. And I think Jacobs Creek do an excellent job of providing good wines that are drinkable with or without food. Perhaps my judgment is clouded somewhat by sentimental memories of buying three bottles of Jacobs Creek for ten pounds at the bottom of Jerningham road in New Cross to accompany a vat of bolognaise that fed the five thousand. (Or just me, Becca and Harriet…) Either way, its easy to judge when you are used to drinking expensive vintages or you naturally put price above substance. This is how the wine industry and wine enthusiasts are tarred with the ‘posh twat’ brush, a brush I am pretty familiar with. So, I am prepared to drink as many bottles of wine as I have to and shout incoherently at as many strangers as I can UNTIL people truly start to believe that the world of wine is changing hands.